What if I die trying and a failure?

This is the question that I’ve struggled with the most since early childhood up until now. Ambition is a beautiful part of the human spirit. High school was the peak of meltdowns. In university, the anxiety felt worse, but I wouldn’t have as many meltdowns; I simply combated by working harder and more aggressively. As…

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Coffee & sugar: My 1 week stress eating bender & fat gain despite 2-4 hrs/day of Muay Thai training

Stress, anxiety, coffee, and refined sugar have profound physiological effects on us and are “the norm” in our society; in my opinion, it’s no wonder that overeating disorders are so common. Given my anxiety and binge eating disorder past, I normally cut out coffee and refined sugars as they can be triggering. Against my better…

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“People don’t care that you’re a shitty person – they want intimacy”: My Clinical Counselling Session

I synthesize, condense, and paraphrase a session with my clinical counsellor and coach, who has been integral and amongst several things I do to work on my mental health. Key Takeaway: As a performance driven individual, I have used my performances as a disordered coping mechanism towards conflict in my relationships. An unconscious thought pattern…

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24 years old & whatever I am doing, it is working

“Sometimes God breaks your heart to save your soul.” This was a journal entry at one of the lowest points of my life, in the midst of recovering from a binge eating disorder. It happened 6 months ago around my 24th birthday, in the summer of 2018. A few months afterward, I exited a nearly…

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